When I say the word coach images like the one below probably come to your mind. I know it did for me throughout childhood and early adulthood. Images of sports coaches rallying on the sidelines, providing support and encouragement, being there every step of the way, even prepared to have the "hard" conversations when needed.
Although many of these behaviours form the essence of coaching, the role is not only confined to sports, in fact, coaches are found in every field. There are "book coaches," who will coach a writer through their writing process, or "health coaches," who will provide the encouragement and support that is so important to those of us who need to improve our health. There is literally a coach for almost every human endeavour.
It was not until I came to a cross-roads in my life and felt like I could go no further without some guidance that I began to contemplate seeing someone to help me through. Up to that point, I had considered myself to be very disciplined and motivated, however, that also was my problem. I was going along thinking that my studiousness and industriousness was going to pull me through. It did, until I hit burnout.
It was not until I realised the truth of Joey Reiman's claim that, "Burnout comes from working a futile minute." It was this realisation, combined with reaching a fork in the road that made me realise that there must be someone out there who has been through the same thing and has learnt to navigate their way through! So, I did the thing that I was very adept at, I typed into Google some of my beliefs concerning life and career, and found a coach that I thought sounded just right!
In the age of the Internet many of you may argue, as I once did, that you can just Google your problem and find answers or read other people's experiences and surely after reading several hundreds of thousands you will come up with an answer because you become so well informed!
Alas, this is what I thought but what I found is that when I was looking at what everyone else had to say about career satisfaction, finding their purpose or how to survive existential angst, what I found was that their experiences were unique to each of them, and that there was no single case that I could readily transfer to my circumstances, even remotely.
Another issue was while I was busy reading about everybody else's experiences, I did not look at how mine had shaped who I was, or even shaped the questions that I was asking. I finally realised that I needed someone to guide me to through the process, to provide objective suggestions and criticism when I needed it but also to have my best interests at heart. The Internet, in all its potential cannot do this, only another human being who has the skill and experience can.
When I first went to see my coach I was at a point where I felt overwhelmed by a "tyranny of choice" and could not find my way through it. I was not only unsure about the preconditions of my actions, but also was unable to predict the consequences of my choices, although I was very aware that I would have to live with the consequences of whatever I chose, and I alone was individually responsible!
My coach, at the very first meeting, connected with me and what I particularly liked was her belief in human potential. I felt that she knew exactly how it felt to be where I was and I understood exactly why she received such high reviews online. My conversations with her revealed the importance of understanding who I was, and how my beliefs, attitudes and actions, were all informed by my values.
Most of all, through coaching I found my voice. For too many years I "sat of the fence," afraid of causing conflict, thinking that if I voiced my opinion I would immediately put myself as an adversary with others who thought differently. I was also afraid of pursuing goals that would express more of who I am. I'm sure some of you may have also felt this way.
Now, assured of who I am and what I want, I feel safe to express my ideas. I also know that when you love something, it is what you must do. It is like I have finally come home.
It has been almost a year since I saw my coach, and I couldn't be happier. On the odd occasion I think about what would have happened if I had not chosen to see a coach, but I know deep down in my core that I would still be where I was. I am infinitely grateful that I did.
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